I am reading a library book by Christopher Kennedy Lawford named Moments of Clarity. He is in recovery from alcohol and drugs(?) and this book is many others' stories of their moment of clarity from their control of life will end with them dead. It's their showing the raw emotions they felt leading to "I can't do this anymore---Take it---I surrender to a higher power". It called to me---If I don't surrender to my Lord, I am a complete mess. I don't want Lorie to live---I want Lorie's body to be the temple for the Lord to live in and be used completely for Him.

Many of you think He already does and that I am strong. I confess that I strive for that day by day. I continually miss that goal. Luke 2-3 and 4-5 showed me something really huge. The main verses that called to me were Luke 6:43-49 "....For out of the overflow of his heart the mouth speaks" and about hearing the word and putting them into practice-----laying a deeply dug foundation to build a house on. Well, I have to question what is completely in my heart. When I drop something or an emergency errupts, the first thing out of my mouth is not always---whoops! The other day, Terry accidently touched a cake pan to move it and instead hit the icing and marred it. Out jumped "Dadgumit" angerily. But the real revelation for me was a few months ago outside in our yard in Tulsa when I walked through a huge spider web with a huge spider in it before I realized it and what flew out of my mouth made me want to wash my mouth out with soap. I quickly realized my heart needed the soap more than my mouth! As I feed on His word, I will be digging that deep foundation not just relying on what others tell me the Bible says. So today I have shovel in hand for the groundbreaking!

The other things that spoke to me were:
Jesus prayed: alone, early in the morning, all night at a mountainside

Jesus amazed others at "the gracious words that came from his lips" 4:22
His message had authority 4:32 He sternly commanded the evil spirit 4:35

He didn't stay in just one place healing all---he healed some, then was sent to area areas. That helped me to not feel guilty when I can only do a little good to help others before being called a different direction.

Peter obeyed in lowering his nets out in the deep after fishing all night without catching anything "because you say so". I want to surrender without me questioning or controling.